Here’s a bit of fun…
Back in the 80′s/90′s like, the days of HTV(when TV really was local), Massive attack, Roni Size, Lakota, when Banksy was just a kiddy from Southmead, practically everyone was at least a proper Bristolian with a proper accent. Obviously them lot in Clifton Village were always posh n lived on cheese, wine n fish eggs. Not Pot Noodles like i mind.
Bruce Hockin on HTV news
You were a proper Bristolian cos you got excited with the thought of going to Weston Super Mare for the day, maybe even to Brean ,if dee were lucky. If you wanted to do it hardcore, you’d go down Lakota n listen to Roni Size before e got famous, or you’d go to Odyssey to crack on to women from Knowle or the Mauritania for the older married ladies who wanted a bit of young blood like.
Bristol has changed a lot over the year. Its got cool n trendy (i personally thought the Mauritania was trendy, but thas i). With the massive influx of students like, our Brizzle has changed.
So what type of Bristolian’s do we have now in our proper city?
Proper Bristolians
Yeah, we still do exist. Mainly found in Southmead, Henbury, Lockleaze, St Pauls, Brentry, Filton, Patchway, Brentry, Barton Hill, Fishponds, St George, Withywood, Bedminster, Bemmie Down, parts of Gloucester rd, Knowle, Totterdown, Staple Hill, Hartcliffe, Kingswood. (If I’ve missed out any, let i know).
You are the people who remember the days of HTV news, Bruce Hockin, Cherie Eugene doing sign language. You wondered if News Reporter, Richard Wyatt was gay or not. Your Dad would secretly be watching Cathy Barry Movies at night. You bought a Naff Naff jacket from Southmead market. You drove a Ford Capri, Ford Escort or Datsun Sunny to Weston Super Mare when it got warm. You stayed in a caravan in Breen and for a bit of sun, sand or sea, you’d go to Sandy Bay, Devon. Or even down to St. Ives, Cornwall to have a pasty and Chicken in a Basket like. You enjoyed a sausage roll from Mountstevens bakery. At least half of your family are builders, Pebble Dashshers, chippys n sparky’s and painter / decorators. You’ve at least once gone to some sort of ‘do’ down the BAWA club.
R Dad, Proper Bristolian
You are the people who ‘Smoove’ a cat, call a baby, a ‘Babay’ or ‘Litlun’, refer to yer mates with ‘our’ in the front of their names like “R Dawn”, R Bobbay”. Say ‘mind’, ‘like’, ‘in i’ ‘an i’ ‘in e’ at the end most sentences. You probably have a Bristolian name like “Kaylay”, “Natlay” “Terray” StewArt” “Carlay” “Micawl” .You’ve described something as “Lush”, you once thought a Vauxhall Nova was the car to have, you listened to Drum n Bass n a bit of happy hardcore.
You passionately support Bristol City F.C or Bristol Rovers F.C. Both of which are shit. And you admit that.
The Stokes Croft lot
A proper gert warm welcome of the grungey, arty, filmy, museo types to Bristol like! If you’d seen Stokes Croft before you thought it was cool, you’d probably run back to Mummy and Daddy and told them to cancel their generous standing order to your bank account.
Stokes Croft, proper trendy now mind
You wear rip jeans, braids, maybe a bit of vintage gear. You have messy hair. You smell a little bit – but thats ok. You own a guitar. You spray paint. You play music in your room, creating an album that will never leave your apple mac. You lounge around, say the words “chillin” or “chilax”, “laying down some tunes” . You walk up and down Gloucester Rd bumping into people, telling how your album is going or your plans to open up a gallery in an old warehouse. You dream of creating art house films, portraying the capitalist world we live in. You ask Mummy for an increase in your standing order payments to fund the project. You mean well. but you are a bit annoying.
Southville’s Yummy Mummy n Trendy Dad lot
Cup of fairtrade coffee for the Yummy Mummy
Hello yummy mummy’s! You love to pay for over priced organic coffee, thinking by paying £2.5o for a coffee like, you are helping the poor coffee farmers in poor countries. You eat over priced Rye bread and eat a bowl of aduki beans for lunch. Your skin complexion is to die for (me misses told i), because you look after yourself. You like to read a book and sit in the Tobacco Factory with the other Yummy Mummy’s and trendy dads. You’d never feed your children caged hen eggs, or KFC. You love to drink good wine. You might secretly shop at Lidl but put your shopping in a canvas sustainable bag. In fact, you love to walk around carrying the canvas sustainable bag because you want the world to know you care about the world. You’re too good for cows milk.You might even hold your carton of Rice milk up in the air and show how cool and alternative you for a woman in your 30′s.
Trendy Dad’s in your 30′s 40′s. You work in media and design. Tweet all day about what other people are tweeting about. Tweet that they you are working on a cool project. You Join the Save Venue campaign as you’ll be in with the cool cats and suddenly appear cool for supporting it. Once its all died down, You’ll forget there ever was a Save Venue campaign n cancel your subscription again. You’ll wear navy jeans, cool jumper that you’d really wear in your 20′s. You wear Converse trainers and wear black think rimmed glasses, style your cropped hair with over price hair wax.
Clifton Village lot
You love your community. You love your history. You dont have a Bristolian accent as you went to private school and Daddy told you off for not pronouncing your ‘TH’s’ -”Its
Clifton Village, proper posh there mind!
not BourneMuFF Malcom, it’s Bournemouth”. You are very rich. You live in a stunning period house, kept in immaculate condition. People secretly really envy you but slag you off saying they’d never want to live there. You quiet happy pay 6 quid for a sandwich in Chandos Deli. You have never visited Southmead or Knowle. The names do ring a bell with you though. You host the odd swinging party. You like to go dogging on the downs.
Westbury-on-Trym lot
You live in a lovely, quiet, terraced house. You are nice people. You do have a Bristolian accent but you deny it. You hide it by over prounouncing your words with careful diction. Despite this, the brizzle is still there. Even if someone mentions that you have a Bristolian accent, you laugh it off saying they are imaging it. You are loving the fact the the over priced restaurant Casa Mia is bringing visitors to the area since it won Ramseys best restaurant.
The student lot
You are rejects of Oxford and Cambridge like. So Mummy and Daddy sent you to Bristol , put you up in Clifton. You drink around park street. The women fall for posh rugby blokes. The blokes take up rugby and speak a bit posh like Jonny Wilkinson to pull the women.
The UWE lot are envious of Bristol Uni students. But you hate them and think they show off. But Bristol Uni love UWE students. They want to smoke weed with you and drink a few bottle’s of Pinot Grigio while reading over the English thesis.
You have given Bristol millions of pounds worth of income. So thanks!
–That’s all for now.
Cheers then, Terry x
